I was cleaning up the dinner dishes as CSI was coming on. The opening song was playing, "Who are you? Who? Who?" Funny because I was just thinking, Who am I? As the song played on I continued to contemplate who am I, now. I did this exact same thing back in college. I think this is something you just do, especially during big changes in your life.
Before my husband got his new job and we had to move, I was the assistant director at my church preschool. I loved my job. Although it was part time, it was just perfect. I got to do what I loved and be at home a good part of the time with my children. My children also got to go to school with me. What could be better. I was fulfilling the "career" and "mother" parts of me. I worked with all my friends and it was a great environment. So, when we moved I'm just wife and mother. No career. This is fine. I love taking care of my house and family. Some people would die to have the choice, but the sudden removal of all of that has left me wondering, "Who am I?"
I know that I am a wife, mother, daughter, and friend, but being in a new place without a job outside the home makes me think about who I am quite a bit more. Things are different here. The people, the climate, and the surroundings. Others define who I am by what they see. I'm definitely southern, a mom, and a wife, but what else do they see? I hope more than this.
This leads me to realize it's not what's on the outside that matters. I must show love and compassion and kindness. This is what is so important in life. Others must see this and feel this from me. I received the nicest compliment from one of the new moms in my Mom's Group. She thanked me for being so friendly and making her fell welcome. Funny, I guess she didn't realize that I was new too. This made me feel good. She saw confidence and kindness in me.
I must not put too much into what others think about me. It will only lead to disappointment. What I need to focus on is what God thinks of me and how I'm doing. He asks us to show kindness and love to others, to treat others as we would like to be treated. This is what I will do. I may not always see the results, but in my heart I'll know I'm doing the right thing.
So this is "who" I'll be. I guess I've always been this way, but now I'll realize I don't have to have a specific title to be or feel important. I'll just be Me!